


I'm Home| NCT Kun

by Ineedyouhyung



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I'm Bad At Everything ;), I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Mystery, Shy but sexy Kun, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Urban Fantasy, nct - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2019-11-04 22:35:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17906945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineedyouhyung/pseuds/Ineedyouhyung
Summary: You have been a widow for 3 years until one morning you wake up to find your late husband, Qian Kun, standing in front of you.





	1. One

The eggs sizzle on the pan as you pierce the yolk with the spatula, the orange liquid spreading across the pan. Scrambled eggs with boiled peas and tomatoes are a go-to breakfast for you whenever you wake up on time for work.

Fine, white strokes of cirrus clouds stretch across the blue sky of the new dawn. The trees rustle softly by the kitchen window as you pour yourself a glass of water and take your plate to the table.

Without wasting a second, you wolf down your breakfast, dousing the grumbling cries of your stomach.

While chewing on your food, you glance at a baby blue mug on the kitchen shelf. You glance at it every morning while having breakfast, as if it was your own little way of silently greeting your late husband.

 

Pressing your head against the window of the bus, you watch the raindrops trickle down the glass. Your mind wanders to the memories of your late husband who passed away four years.

 

______________________________________

 

Qian Kun was a quiet, shy and good-hearted man. You've known him as a child as your father's best friend's son but you were never as close to him as he was with your older sister. He was handsome, undeniably but you never saw him that way until the offer of marriage was presented to you by his family. The offer shocked you and so did your parent's reaction to it; they appeared way too calm about it and asked you to consider the proposal.

"But I hardly know him," you had said.

"You can get to know him now," your mother suggested. "Meet up with each other, see if you like each other."

"Boys like Kun are very hard to find," you father added. "He is a man of good character and has an honest income, what else can one ask for?"

"Does he even like me?" you mumbled. They laughed. "Of course, he does, why would he agree to it then?"

It was hard to believe the fact that he agreed to it. He hardly ever talked to you during the family dinners or picnics. But it was harder for your best friend to believe that you agreed to it.

“Arranged marriage?” Suzy asked, appalled. “In this day and age?”

You fidgeted nervously. “They didn’t force you, did they?” she pressed.

“What?! No, of course not.”

She exhaled a sigh of relief. “Then why?”

“I hardly date, Suzy. My dates always end up being painfully miserable. Besides, I know Kun and he knows me. If he’s okay with it, then I guess I am too.”

“Y/n, you can’t _guess_ this,” Suzy squeezed your hand. “This isn’t even dating, it’s marriage. A lifetime commitment.”

“I know but, as far as I know Kun, I think things can work out between us. He’s very nice and likable.”

Suzy sighed. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

But you didn’t. It was indeed a big commitment but you never realized the gravity of the situation.

His good looks, profession, and grace intimidated you. The way he carried himself in the room, chatting gently in his soft, musical voice, laughing softly at bad jokes and smiling brightly, his twinkling eyes turning into a pair of crescents with dimples gracing his cheeks. Maybe it was due to the fact that you hadn’t met him for a long time, but during the engagement party, Kun's beauty shocked you. The harder and longer you stared at him, the more scared you grew. Why did a guy like him agree to marry a girl like you, when he could have anyone he wanted? Your hands trembled, as he gently held it, sliding the ring in your index finger. Cheers and clapping followed as you finally dared to look up. Your heart almost stopped as you find Kun's eyes fixed on you, smiling gently.

_Wow._

It didn't add up. His parents weren't the type to force a marriage on him and neither were yours. You were seeking stability in your life after graduating from university and you weren't getting any younger so you accepted it; receiving a proposal like that was really shocking and unbelievable but who could refuse it?

You were engaged for only a month; the best month of your life. Despite your dates being limited to weekends due to the fact Kun lived in another city, those dates were possibly the best you had. Although you could barely to bring yourself to construct a comprehensible sentence in front of him properly, you appreciated his company. Neither of you talked as much, but you were content.

However, a week before the wedding, you discovered that Kun had confided in your sister:

_Maybe she doesn't like me, she's so quiet at our dates."_

You never meant to see the text but jealousy crept up to you when you saw the notification on your sister's phone. He never texted you other than asking if you had arrived home safely, but he was texting your sister.

You scrolled up, your heart hammering from the accidental revelation. The texts were fairly ordinary but he asked about you a lot, about your feelings. Why her sister, though? Why couldn't he ask you? He was on better terms with your sister, why didn't he marry her? Why you? Before you could read any further, upon hearing the footsteps near the door, you threw the phone on the bed and went back to filing your nails.

The questions remained until your wedding day.

For some reason, you felt mad at him and mad at yourself at the same time. Maybe if you were more extroverted as your sister, Kun would have no difficulty talking to you. But you couldn't and the fact that he was ten times more gorgeous than he used to be made it more difficult for you to even look at him without your face warming up, let alone converse.

As you said your vows, you glanced at him. He started saying his, his eyes fixed on yours. However, instead of his usual gentle self, Kun appeared more serious. You blushed furiously under his fixed gaze, your hands shaking under his grip. "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you as man and wife."

_Oh no, here it comes._

"You may kiss the bride," the priest concluded.

A cold chill went down your spine; you have been dreading this moment. This was too embarrassing for you.

What if you ruined it? What if Kun hated the kiss?

However, all your thoughts went blank when you felt his hand palm your cheek and his lips press against your forehead. His musky perfume filled your nostrils and calmed your mind. The gentle squeeze he gave to your sweaty, trembling hands, as he stepped back and smiled at you, reassured you. Kun was there, so there was no reason to worry.

The drive back to his home was quiet. He asked you softly if you were okay and you nodded, returning his smile. You watched his hand resting on his thigh, the faint blue veins running under his smooth skin. You itched to touch it, to feel the warmth of his touch.

Your eyes darted up to him; he was gazing at the scenery running past him. You were married to him, so it was alright to take his hand right?

_Maybe she doesn't like me._

But you did, you liked him too much. Although since last month, you have been very confused but you did like him. You couldn't help it. You gave up and looked the other way.

 

A week had passed after the wedding and you still hadn't done it. You slept on the same bed as him but he never touched you that way. He'd stay up doing his work, while you slowly fell asleep and the next morning you would wake up feeling disappointed by the fact that you were still a virgin. This went on for a month. Your mother had embarrassed you by buying raunchy, flashy lingerie but now you were contemplating on wearing them. While your colleagues shared their stories of hardcore sex with their boyfriends, you were stuck with a husband that hadn't touched you since the wedding day.

On one such night, you decided to make something delicious for him, to set the mood for the night. You decided to be brave. Kun loved sweet and sour pork ribs so you decided to make that.

As you brought out the ingredients from the fridge, you heard the phone buzzing on the kitchen counter.

Wiping your hands on your apron, you picked it up.

"Is this Qian Kun's number?" a man said on the other side.

"Yes, who is this?"

"I'm calling from ____ Hospital. Mr. Qian had an accident."

 

 

It was a drunk driver; he was speeding too fast, didn't look at the lights and struck Kun while he was crossing the road he thought to be clear. Kun's injuries were so severe, he had died on the spot. The left side of his face was battered brutally from the impact of the crash.

But you held him anyway, you held your late husband in your arms and cried. You wanted to scream, to smash every object nearby, to kick and hit the wall, to shake him and call him to come back. But he didn't listen, he would never listen. His soft, jet black hair was shaved off due them being soaked in blood. His full, plump lips lost their color. His ice cold skin was ghostly white with a faint blue shade. His warmth, his smile, the twinkle in eyes, the dimples, the way he softly called your name.

You would never see them again.

 

 

 

 

 

 _________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

It has been three years since then. It took you a full year to fully comprehend that he was never coming back, no matter how much you screamed or cried. He never said that he loved you but what hurt you the most is that you never got to show him how much you really loved him. Despite for knowing him intimately for such a little time, you felt like you had lost a part of yourself. You couldn't look at your sister. You were never close to her as a kid and despite your attempts to become more close during your childhood, she would close you off for some reason. She knew Kun better than you did and that ached your heart. All those days you wasted on not trying to know him better, just because you were shy.

You regretted everything, the time that had been lost, the love that couldn't be expressed and the words that couldn't be said.

You had wasted everything.

 

It was an exhausting day at work. You sluggishly entered your apartment, throwing your side bag on the bed and crashing on it. Your head ached severely, the throbbing pain refusing to subside. Rolling over your side, you decided to sleep it off.

You wake up to the grumbling of your stomach. Slowly, your eyes flutter open but you jolt up awake and sit up on your bed.

A figure was standing before you, snapping you out of your state of drowsiness. You freeze. What cruel dream was this? A dream where you couldn't distinguish it from reality? A dream where your husband stood before you? Your heart hammers against your chest. You stare at him. And he stares back. Your hand stretch out, trembling and he steps towards you, leaning. If this was a dream, you need to touch him, feel him for the last time. Your hand palms his cheeks, the warmth of his touch spreading through you. Your head is spinning as you register one thought:

This is not a dream.


	2. Two

 

Terror spreads through your body as you sit immobile and paralyzed, staring at the man before you.

Your senses heighten. There is a light pattering of drizzle outside, the curtains gently swaying with the breeze. The only source of light is from the metallic grey sky beyond your window.

Kun is holding a pile of folded clothes, frozen in his position. He is wearing a brown shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows with his jet black hair ruffled into a gorgeous mess. 

Your eyes drink his beauty in, parched from the three years of absence. All those years you would stare at his pictures, missing him; none of those pictures could do him justice. He looks finer than any man you had seen.

Time slows down as an eerie silence settles in. 

Before this dream ends, you need to touch him, to feel him for the last time.

Your heart thump slowly as you stretch your hand out with a bated breath, your fingertips eager to find his skin. Understanding your silent request, he slowly bends and leans towards you.

It was dream you had many times before; Kun would stand before you, sometimes smiling, sometimes bank, and beckon you silently, to which you would go rushing, without  wasting another second, but before your fingers could even brush against his skin, his figure would dissipate into oblivion, like a watery reflection disturbed by ripples.

However, this time is an exception. Your fingertips press against  his soft cheeks, around where his dimples would make an appearance whenever a smile graced his lips.

Your tips slowly slide across his cheeks, hesitant and trembling and you find yourself gingerly palming his cheek, feeling afraid to feel the deathly coldness of his skin as it would remind you of the harrowing last moments you shared with him, cradling his dead, limp body in your arms.

Hearing a soft thump, you realize Kun had dropped the pile of clothes, with one hand on the bed, supporting his weight as he bends towards you, while the other hand aided in pressing your hand against his cheek.

You choke as you feel his warmth seep through your hands, the pillow-like softness of his skin causing you to tear up.

"Kun," your voice trembles which surprises you as you have never had the ability to talk in your dreams for some reason.

"Yes?" his velvet voice replies softly.

"Kun."

"Yes?"

"Kun." Tears blur your vision and you blink to get them out of the way, allowing them to roll down your cheeks. "You're home."

"I'm home," he reassured.

The corner of your mouth barely manage to lift up before darkness engulfs you in its arm and you fall into it, your name echoing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The loud thunder jerks you awake, your limbs feeling heavy and slow. Your brain feels fuzzy and your eyes squint at the clock. 

_ 11 a.m. _

Thank God, it's your off-day today. You could allow yourself to sleep one day longer than usual. As you throw your legs off the bed and stand up, you suddenly recall the events that transpired.

It was the strangest dream you ever had till this day. You simply can't fathom why it felt so unreasonably real. Although you would never forget Kun but you thought you had grown more immune to the pain of his absence. Then why were you dreaming such things that only held you back from moving on?

The clanging of utensils from the kitchen pull you back to the reality from your train of thoughts. Furrowing your brows, you slowly walk out of your room. 

_ Is that Mom? _

It wasn't. Kun sets the plates on the table and you don't to fail to notice his blue mug beside a plate.

He looks up at you, his mouth slightly parts as he locks his gaze with you.

The air suddenly becomes too thick for you to breathe and your mouth becomes dry.

"Good morning," Kun greeted, his dimples appearing with his smile.

"How?" You ask, struggling to find words. You are aware that you're fully awake, your mind couldn't wrap around this and make any sense out of it.

Your knees suddenly lose their strength and you lose your balance.

Before you could collapse to the floor, you find yourself being supported by Kun. One arm was wrapped around your waist while the other had a tight grip around your arm.

"Y/n ?" Kun gasps.

You shook violently, a sudden chill possessing your body. How is this possible? How can this be real?

Kun is hugging you now, his arms wrapped around you waist. Your nose is pressed against his neck while your arms lay limp.

His warmth envelopes you like a warm cocoon. His soapy, masculine scent fills your nostrils. He is here. He is real.

How?

Your eyes tear up as you sob softly.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" 

"I don't understand."

"Understand what?"

You push him and take a few steps back. He stood before you, surprised.

"You," you raise your trembling finger slowly at him, "you were dead. You  _ are _ dead."

"What are you saying?" 

"How are you here?"

"What do you mean? Y/n, are you okay?"

"I saw you were dead," you raise your voice, losing your sanity by the passing second.

"You need to calm down," Kun says softly, slowly taking steps towards you.

But you back  away. "No. I'm not crazy."

"I never said you were, baby," Kun coos.

Your heart pauses for a second. _ Baby?  _ He never called you that. Your cheeks warm up but then you shake your head.

"No," you press. "I'm not crazy, you were dead. I know it."

"Y/n, I-"

"I held you," you scream. "I held your dead body."

That silences him. He stares at you, his eyes wide and his breath short and rapid.

You run back to your room, locking the door behind you and fish your keys out from your purse. Fumbling with your keys, you eventually find the right key and open your wardrobe. Pushing away the clothes, you search for a file that had Kun's hospital reports and a copy of death certificates. 

But it wasn't there.

Panting, you step back. This isn't possible, you couldn't have lost it. There was no way you could have. You never brought it out to begin with after his funeral.

You take your phone and call Suzy.

After three rings, she finally picks up. "Hey there, bestie."

"Suze, Kun... " your voice cracked.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Her voice laced with worry and concern.

"Kun is alive," You breathe out.

"What?" 

"He's alive."

"Alive?"

"Yes," you whisper.

"Okay?"

You wait.  _ Okay? _ What?

"Suze."

"Y/n are you okay?'

"I'll call you back."

You dial your mother's number as Kun knocked on the door, making your heart jump. You ignore him.

"Hey there, sweety," Your mom greeted warmly.

"Hey, Mom," you cleared your throat. "How are you?"

"The same old, busy with the shop. But what about you, dear? How are you feeling now? Kun called me about 2 hours ago, saying you fainted after waking up? Are your hemoglobin levels off again?"

"What?" you ask in disbelief. You thought your mother would confirm that this wasn't real but her response threw you off.

"What?" she asks

"Did Kun call you?" His knocking has stopped by now.

"Yes, he did. He was so worried poor boy, he asked me the recipe for chicken soup and whatnot. I told you so many time to take care of your-"

But your mothers words go over your head. You drop the phone, your head spinning.

This cant be real. There was no way this is real.

"Y/n," Kun's muffled voice calls you sweetly. "Let me feed you something, please. You'll faint again."

You stare at the door. Your heart is pounding against your chest as you draw deep and short breaths. This is reality. Your husband is alive and waiting outside your door.

Your surroundings sway. You lie down to your bed, still staring at the door.

 

 

You never realized when you fell asleep. How did you even sleep? The clock says 1.30 p.m.

You sit up, your head throbbing and your muscles aching. Glancing at the door, you imagine the house to be empty. Maybe it really was a dream. 

Slowly, you walk up to the door and unlock it. Gently swinging it open, you find an exhausted Kun on the floor, sitting up against a wall. He lifts up his head and looks at you, taken aback.

He was waiting. 

Tears well up at your eyes and for the second time, you sob. He swiftly stands up and cups your face.

"What's wrong?"

But you embrace him and cry your heart out.

 

 

 

 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

You watch him drink from his blue mug across you and take another bite from his toast. Who knew that a sight as ordinary as this would be so precious to you? He seems careful around you, pretending as if nothing happened.

His eyes darts towards at you, noticing your gaze on him.

"Is everything okay? You don't like the soup?"

You blink and then shake your head, looking down at your untouched soup. "No, it's okay."

"Do you want me to feed you?" he asked tenderly. Your faces warm up at his words. Without any hesitation, you are about to refuse but then you hold yourself back.

"I'd like that," you say in the smallest voice. You can't bring yourself to look at him but you know that he is smiling. 

Taking your spoon, he stirred the soup and fed you some.

"Is it too hot?"

You shook  your head. Soup never tasted more perfect. 

 

As Kun washes the plates, you watch him, still sitting by the dining table. You find yourself standing up and your legs walking towards him. Your arms wrap around his waist and your cheeks press against his back.

Kun freezes for a second but then relaxes. Washing his hands off, his damp, cold hands gently pull my hands away as he turns and faces you.

Now it was your turn to freeze. You didn't see this coming.

He wraps his arms around your waist and presses himself against you. His eyes are soft and content, the tip of his nose brushing against yours.

"Hey, there," he says softly. "Didn't expect you sneaking up on me."

You wanted to smile but you couldn't. You felt unexpectedly calm as you memorized every single feature of his.

"What?" he whispers, eyeing your lips.

The hair on your skin stand on its end as you find yourself staring at his.

The once chapped, cold and faintly blue lips, now looked soft with the shade of plum pink. Taking out your one hand from his waist, you raise it towards his mouth.

He watches your fingertips gingerly brush against his lips, warm breath hitting them. Then, he looks back at you, a foreign desire swirling in his eyes.

For the first, Kun appears intimidating to you. He looks angry and serious, making you doubt your actions.

Did you something wrong?

However, your questions are answered when he leans and presses his lips against yours.

The action renders you speechless. He takes your hand that was touching his lips and presses it against his cheek.

His lips take in your lower lip and you shiver as he tugs it gently between his teeth.

Slowly, he leans back, breathing heavily.

That was your first kiss with him. You can't look at him, so you bury your face in his chest.

He chuckles. "Is someone feeling shy?"

"No."

He laughs, his chest rumbling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Your throat feels dry as you step into the hospital, heading towards the counter. Taking a deep breathe, you flash a friendly smile at the receptionist behind the counter, a young woman with blonde hair.

"Hey," you greet.

"Good morning, Miss. How can I help you today?"

"I was actually wondering if you have the hospital records of Mr. Qian Kun."

"And how are you related to him?"

"I'm his wife," you clarify as you hand her your National ID. 

She glances at it, hands it back to you with a smile and then goes back to her computing, typing.

"Qian Kun," she mumbles under her breath. "Um, we didn't have any patient by that name."

You stare at her for a second. "Are you sure?'

She types again and then looks back at you. "Positive."

You nod. "Thank you."

 

Walking out of the hospital, you stuff your hands in your jacket pockets. Inhaling the cold air, you watch the fir trees sway with the wind, dark clouds rolling in.

You had a feeling that the hospital would be dead end. Questions swim in your head. 

What happened exactly? Was it all just a bad dream? It couldn't be. You still remember the three years you spent without Kun, down to the most minute details.

_ Maybe I should try the police station _ , you wonder. But what if you end up with the same result?

Shaking your head, you decide to head back home and briskly walk towards the car. As you turn the keys and the engine quietly revs up to life, you pause.

 

What happened to the other people that were involved in Kun’s accident?

 

A name echoes in your mind. 

 

Mark Lee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovely readers!  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter <3  
> What do you think of Kun in this fic and who's your NCT bias?


	3. Three

Given how you had spent 3 years without Kun, you simply couldn’t get used to him walking around the house.

Sometimes, he would leave the house early for work, and only then the familiar loneliness would strike you hard.

Your heart would pound whenever you found the bed empty next to you after waking up. Fumbling with the phone, you’d hurriedly call Kun’s number and let out a deep sigh of relief when you’d hear his voice.

 

Kun must have understood about you getting worried when he left the house early, so he would leave a sticky note on the vase on the bedside bed.

His short messages always leave a smile on your face.

 

Today, it says, “ _I made some waffles. Have a great day, honey! : )_ “

His new nicknames for you always creates a knot in your stomach.

A new hobby began, of you collecting the notes and keeping them neatly folded in your wallet.

  


You are five minutes early to work today and greet your neighboring colleagues, Johnny, Taeil, and Taeyong.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” Johnny, your cube mate, as he comes over with two cups of coffee and sits next to you in his seat.

“Good morning and thank you for the coffee,” you say, as he places one of the cups at your desk.

“No problemo. Hey, did you hear? We’re having a guy transferred here from the Human Resources Department.”

“Oh, is that so?” you raise your brows, taking a sip from your coffee and starting up your computer.

“Yep. Apparently, he’s as good as me in English and is pretty popular amongst the ladies,” Johnny says with a frown over his face.

You hold back a smile. “Oh no, I suppose you have some tough competition there.”

Johnny looks at you incredulously and snorts. “Competition? Please. No one can compete with this proud owner of magnum di-”

“Johnny, we’re at work, please,” Taeil sternly interrupts. “We don’t need to hear about how you’re not insecure and scared at all of this yet-to-be-seen newcomer.”

“Ugh, you’re such a mood-killer, grandpa.”

“Excuse me?”

You are about to stop the fight when Taeyong, the team leader, comes in. “Calm down, boys. There’s no need to fight. We all know who’s the most good looking here and that’s me, okay? Now, shut up and get back to work.”

You giggle softly as Taeyong winks at you while Taeil and Johnny resume their work, sulking. As much as they would love to rebut Taeyong’s self-proclaimed position as the most good-looking guy in the office, they know better than to cross him.

 

About 25 minutes later, Taeyong calls in for a meeting in the room. Everyone gets up from their seats and walk up near his desk at the front of the room.

 

You stop walking halfway.

“Everyone, I want to introduce you to our new teammate, Mark Lee.”

Mark bows. “Hello, my name is Mark Lee. I’ve been transferred from the Human Resources Department. I look forward to working with you guys.”

Everyone claps, except you. You are still frozen in your position, paralyzed in disbelief and some other foreign emotion that your brain cannot seem to wrap around.

 

Mark’s eyes sweep over everyone, smiling politely and nodding until he meets yours.

His friendly smile fades as his eyes widen, his mouth parting slightly.

  


_There was a murmur in the courtroom. The buzz of people talking helped you in distracting yourself from thinking about Kun’s cold, heavy and deceased body._

_You felt your mother, sitting next to you, squeeze your hand._

_“You okay, sweety?”_

_You nodded, staring at your lap._

_The clicking of the door silences the room as everyone turns their heads to watch the accused enters._

_Whispering commences as the man walks to the defendant’s desk and sits next to the lawyer. You couldn’t look up at him, for some reason. You were afraid to look at your husband’s killer. Slowly, you steal a glance at his way._

_His youthful appearance shocked you. He looked as old as Kun, if not younger as his head hung low, the dark shadows under his eyes indicating the sleepless nights he had gone through._

_You knew he didn’t do it intentionally, but you couldn’t help but feel the strong urge to get back and tear out his hair._

_The raw hatred and anger pulsing under your skin, desperately wanting a release through your hands, scared you; you never felt such intense detestation for someone._

_The judge struck the gavel three times and commanded silence in the courtroom._

_Thus the session began and it took three more sessions for Mark Lee to be sentenced to jail for 10 years._

_Each session took everything in you to not throw up, the overwhelming hatred consuming you whole._

_Every time you looked up at him, you would be surprised to find him staring at his lap, his body hunched, his face sullen and his eyes red and swollen,_

_During the day he was sentenced, he got up, shook his hands with the lawyer, and was headed for the door, with two officers behind him._

_He slowed down when you met his gaze and blinked._

_“I’m so sorry,” his quivering voice murmured._

_You stared at him, tasting bile in your tongue. “No, you’re not.”_

_His eyes widened. “I-”_

_“Get out of my sight unless you want to hurt yourself,” you snapped._

_Tears welled up in his eyes as they rolled down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry,” his voice cracked at the last word._

_“Get out!” you screamed._

_He jumped at the amplitude of your tone, his figure hunching further in fear. The officers behind up pushed him forward gently and he walked out of the room._

_You pant, your mother rubbing your back and sobbing softly, as you find all the eyes in the room on you._

  
  
  
  
  
  


You snap out of your daze when he looks away. Realizing how long you two had been staring at each other, you take a deep breath and go back to your work.

  
  


 

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Yo, Y/n.”

You look at Johnny next to you.

“We’ll be eating out Mark to celebrate his first day at work. Wanna join us?”

You smile. “I have a lot on my plate and I also need to leave early. Maybe some other time?”

“Aww, too bad.”

He turns to Taeil. “Yo, gramps. You’re lucky Y/n is pulling out. Wanna join in?”

“No, thank you. I have other appointments.”

Johnny squints his eyes at him and mumbles “appointments” under his breath.

You laugh.

  
  


As you pick your bag up and were ready to leave, Mark suddenly presents himself in front of you.

“Um, Ms. Y/n, do you know where Mr. Lee is?”

You shake your head and walk past him. You know he was about to say something but you didn't care.

You ponder over your actions on the bus. Kun is still alive which means Mark is still innocent of his crime.

Then it also means that your coldness towards him is unjustified. However, you can’t help it. The Mark that killed Kun and the Mark right now are the same person. If he could recklessly kill Kun then, who’s to say he won’t do it again if the circumstances were presented such?

Mark’s shocked expression flashes in your mind. Why did he look surprised? Could it be that he knows?

You certainly remember what happened, so there was an equal chance that Mark could remember too.

  
  
  
  


______________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

Locking the door behind, you take off your shoes and walk to the kitchen. Glancing at the wall while pouring yourself a glass of water, you estimate that it would take Kun 20 more minutes to come home.

After you were done quenching your thirst, you take out the ingredients for dinner.

  
  
  
  


You watch Kun chew his food, savoring his bites with an appreciative “mhhmm”.

“It’s been forever since I had some good Korean beef,” he says. “Thank you.”

You grin as you pick up the fork and are about to take a bite yourself.

“Wait,” Kun says and you look up. His arm stretches out with a piece of the meat stuck to his fork in his hand.

The gesture of him trying to feed you made your face and the back of your neck.

You chuckle. “What are you doing?”

Kun smiles. “Come on.”

You eat from his hand and mumble a quite thanks bashfully.

 


	4. Four

There are some days when you naturally don’t feel like doing anything at all. Sometimes, you just want to curl up in your bed, wrapped in your comforter, and listen to the light patter outside.

 

However, you listen to the patter now against the ceiling-to-floor glass window next to you in your office, watching the thunders illuminate the city for a brief second. Sighing, you sluggishly return to the pile of work waiting in front of you on your desk. Taking a sip of your black coffee, you resume your work.

 

You are completely immersed in your work when you feel a light tap on your shoulder. Without glancing up, you hum, indicating the person behind you has your attention.

 

“Uh, I was told that you would supervise my reports before they were sent to the director,” a voice, that you knew too well, says.

Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath and turn. Mark is standing behind you with a file in his hand, looking nervous. You take the file and flip through the pages, checking the necessities. You don’t the time to go through each and every single line so you check the numbers, the names of the companies, the clauses, and important terms.

It seems to be fine and thus, you inform Mark that he should send it to Taeyong right away. Nodding, he takes the file and walks away, headed to Taeyong’s desk.

 

Letting out a sigh of relief, you continue your work.

  
  
  


About 2 hours later, you are summoned to Taeyong’s desk, who appears to be very pissed off. You frown. “Is everything okay?”

“Does it look like everything is okay?” Taeyong asks, looking up at you from his seat. 

You note that Taeyong has switched his friend mode and was in the boss mode.

 

You look down and wait for him to continue. Mark also takes his place next to you and you realize what this is about. You curse yourself.

 

“A report was made by Mark Lee,” Taeyong began, “that you, Y/n, supervised. That report was sent to the director who, while using it in a crucial meeting with the Lin Associations, found that there was an extra zero in the sum of the selling price for the Regency Limited. I hope you understand the fact that you would have cost the company a loss of 1 million dollars due to both of your carelessness and lack of dedication in your work.”

 

Your cheeks warmed up in shame as you hang your head low.

 

“The director was furious and was deeply shocked and disappointed to find that a diligent person like you could let a disaster take place,” Taeyong added sternly, his eyes burning holes in you.

“I’m so sorry,” you say helplessly.

“This is the last time I will be telling you this because I have high expectations for you: Get your head in your work.”

You nod. “Yes, sir.” 

“And you,” Taeyong turned to Mark. “I made you stand here and listen to your superior get scolded so that you understand that no one is spared when it comes to making mistakes like these, not even my own friends. Y/n, please go back to your desk.”

 

With one last bow, you walk back to your cubicle while Taeyong continued lecturing Mark.

  
  
  
  
  


You massage your left shoulder as you wait for your bus. The bus stop was empty and for some reason, you find that comforting. A soft breeze blew at your face as you sigh, your body exhausted.

Glancing to your left, your eyes widen as you sit up straight. Mark is sitting on the other end of the bench, tapping his foot gently and looking straight ahead. He turns his head towards you and you look away.

You can’t decide whether or not to talk to him. You don’t want to be too friendly but then again you don’t want to come off as rude. Inhaling deeply, you turn to greet him.

 

“Hello-”

“I’m sorry.”

 

You both spoke at the same time and then stare at each other.

 

“It’s okay.”

“Hello.”

 

Amused, both of you laugh lightly.

“Sorry, you should go ahead, “ Mark says.

“No, it’s okay, you go on.”

“Well, I wanted to apologize for today. It was my mistake yet you got scolded.”

You shrug. “It’s okay. I was at fault too. At least the disaster was prevented, though. Just make sure not to do it again.”

Mark nodded. “I will.”

 

Another awkward silence settles in and to your relief, Mark breaks it. 

“So you take this bus home?” He asks.

You nod. “What about you?”

“Yeah, the stop is right across my house.”

“Oh, cool,” you say awkwardly.

 

The bus appears in your line of sight. “Oh, the bus is here.”

Mark follows your gaze and stands up.

 

Both of you get on the bus and you take a seat next to the window. 

“Is it okay if I sit next to you?” Mark asks hesitantly standing near your seat.

A pang of guilt hit you. “Yes, of course.”

He smiles and sits next to you. You curse yourself internally for getting blinded by your emotions. There is no point in acting rude with Mark. Whatever happened in the _ other world _ , should just stay there. Kun is still alive, you sternly remind yourself. Your ill feeling towards Mark was completely unjustified, given how polite he is being with you. 

However, you couldn’t help but feel wary of him. He was only driving under the influence and was careless for a second. Does he deserve to be treated like shit for a moment’s poor judgment? You want to forgive him but you simply can’t forget the painful years you spent grieving for Kun. 

 

You glance at Mark. He is wearing white headphones and scrolling down his phone. When he looks up at you, you freeze and stutter.

“Uh, um, whatchu listening to?”

“Oh, I-I’m listening to some Post Malone. You know him?”

You smile sheepishly. “I’ve heard of him but never heard his songs. I’m not really in touch with music nowadays.”

“That’s cool,” Mark says, pulling out one of his buds. “Wanna listen?”

You raise your brows at his offer. It would be rude to decline so you accept.

  
  


The song was nice and you ask for its name to Mark, making a mental note to download it when you go back home.

  
  


“This is where I get off,” you tell Mark, handing him his bud.

“Oh, okay then. Do you want me to walk you home?” 

“No, it’s okay, It’s not far from here. Thank you, though.”

He smiles. “See you tomorrow then.”

  
  
  
  


“I’m home,” you announce as you take off your shoes.

“Welcome home,” Kun greets you as he walks out of the kitchen, wearing an apron. You don’t fail to notice his hair is ruffled with some white powder scattered on it, possibly flour.

You scoff as you walk towards him. “What are you even doing?”

He glanced back at the counter, then looks at you. “Thought I would experiment with our dinner tonight a little.”

 

You run your hand through his hair, gently dusting it away. “I’ll look forward to it then.”

Kun smiles, leaning towards you. “I won’t disappoint you.”

Touching the tip of your nose with his forefinger, he smudges some of the flour on it. You scrunch your nose. “Nope.”

He laughs. “Okay, go wash up then. Dinner will be ready by then.”

 

Once you are done showering, you walk to the kitchen and find Kun crouched over a plate, busy doing something.

You lean over and take a peek at what he was doing. Kun notices what you were doing and exclaims, “Hey! No peeking.”

You giggle. “Well then, hurry up. I’m hungry.”

“Don’t pressure me, I might ruin it if I’m too stressed.”

“Okay, okay. I’m going.”

 

You are sitting at the dinner table, scrolling your phone when a Facebook notification pops up.

 

“Mark Lee sent you a friend request. Confirm request?”

 

You tap on the notification. Thankfully, his account his public and you stalk him for a while. He doesn’t take many pictures of himself, most of them were of people she didn’t. You notice he took some pictures with Taeil and Doyoung. 

You were surprised to find yourself working in the background of a picture of him and Taeyong. Smiling at the picture, you realize you hadn’t added him back. So you do.

 

Kun returns from the kitchen with a large bowl and sets it on the table.

“Yummy ramen for tonight,” he announced.

You clap excitedly and hoot, earning a chuckle from Kun. 

“Thank you so much, I’ll begin right away,” you say, picking up your chopsticks.

Kun flashes a hand before it. “No.”

You frown at him.

“Payment,” Kun says.

“Pfft what payment?” you reach out for the food anyway but pull your hand back immediately, when Kun slaps it away.

“First pay then eat,” he says.

Rubbing your hand, you pout. “Okay, what do you want?”

He taps his cheek with a smile.

You blush and grin at him. Getting up, you felt a little a playful and planted a kiss on his lips instead, leaving him shocked.

“Thank you for the dinner,” you whisper.

“Oh, that won’t do,” Kun whispered back, taking his apron off.

You step back. “W-what?”

He cages you in his arms and leans in for another kiss. Your protests were muffled as he kissed you. It feels different this time, slightly more rough than usual. You sigh as you pull your hands out and knot them in his hair, pressing your body against him.

 

He pulls back gently. “We should eat,” he says breathily.

You nod, flushed. With one last peck on your lips, he lets you go. Your stomach flips when you notice the hint of red across his cheeks, lips and the tip of his ears.

 

Even though your physical relationship with him has progressed a lot more, you still feel shy around him. The smallest thing he does affects you. 

You wonder if he felt the same. With Kun, it’s so hard to know what’s going on in his mind. He hardly talks about himself but you never want to push him into talking. 

 

Your phone lights up with the sound of your notification. Chewing on your food, you check your phone.

 

Mark sent you a link: https://…

Mark: Here’s the song :)

 

You smile. 

“Who’s it?” Kun asks. 

You look at him and put your phone down. “Just a colleague.”

Kun smiles at you. “How’s work going?”

You groan. “I got yelled at today.”

“Oh no, what happened?”

And just like that, you end up spilling everything to Kun. It is easy to open up to him. He always attentively listens to you and waits for you to finish before adding his comment.

He agreed it was both your and Mark’s fault. “But it’s also humane to make mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up for it. Just be careful next time.”

You nod. “Thank you for understanding.”

Kun leans forward and kisses your forehead. “Anytime, babe.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boring chapter but hey at least mark's your friend now :P


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i died for a long while :)) here's an update for you all. I will try to do longer updates on a weekly basis :'))

“Mark’s not coming today.”

You turn in your chair. “What?”

“Yep,” Taeyong says as he places four more folders on your desk. “He called me while I was on my way to here, said he’s sick and can’t make it today. He did say that he will be back by tomorrow but he has some work he couldn’t complete.”

You nod at the folders. “So you want me to finish them?”

“I would do them myself but I’m swamped with the reports for Huang Constructions.”

“Don’t worry I’ll finish them by tonight.”

“Thanks and also, do you have any plans during lunch?”

“No, why?”

Taeyong smiled apologetically. “Could you head over Mark’s place? He took some of the reports of the Huang. He was supposed to finish the presentation himself so now, I have to do them but I can’t really finish it without those reports.”

You sigh. “Is his house too far?”

“It’s near the subway station. Just take my car.”

You nod. It isn’t too far from here or your house. Taeyong hands you his car-keys and scribbles down the address on a sticky note. You thank him and leave the office.

 

While you’re on your way to Mark’s place, you stop by a convenience store and buy some fruits for him.

 

Mark lives in a small studio apartment and you wonder if he lived alone. You knock at his door, your eyes wandering around the place.

The door opens. 

“Hey…” your voice dies. Mark looks horrible, his cheeks flushed and his eyes red and swollen. His usual gelled-up jet black hair was now hanging down over his forehead, ruffled while wearing a grey shirt over black tracksuits, making him look far more younger. His mouth is covered by a mask, as he squints at you.

“Oh, Y/n, what brings you here?” he asked, his voice hoarse and raspy.

“Are you okay? You don’t look too good.”

He waves it off. “Yeah, I’m okay. Mr. Lee asked for the files, didn’t he? Come on in.”

You follow Mark to his living room and settle down on a couch. Despite his place being smaller than your apartment, it felt more open and lighter, with the windows open and the evening light seeping through the plain white curtains. 

You notice that he was not a hoarder like you; he had few belongings, only keeping the household necessities around and allowing the apartment to have more room.

 

Mark coughs loudly as he brings out some folders and slowly sits opposite you.

“Here,” he says, handing you the folders. “I would offer you something to drink but there’s hardly anything in the house.”

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry about me. How are you going to eat then?”

He shrugged. “Take-out seems fine.”

“That’s not healthy, Mark. Let me make you something.” You are about to get up but Mark grabs your wrist.

“Please don’t,” he says softly. “I’ve already troubled you a lot.”

You notice how incredibly warm Mark’s hand feels. “Mark, you’re burning up.”

He shakes his head. “I’m fine, please sit.”

He isn’t fine at all and you decide that listening to him will do him no good. “As your boss, I do have some responsibility towards you and so, you will do as I say.”

Mark chuckled softly. “That’s not fair.”

“Doesn’t have to be. Just go to your room and rest, I’ll make some soup for you.”

Mark follows your words and you get to the kitchen. Mark was right; there was hardly much food in the kitchen but you could make some vegetable soup. 

You head to Mark’s room with the soup and find him buried underneath a blanket. You gently nudge him and he sits up, coughing.

“I’m so sorry,” he says softly, taking off his mask.

“Don’t be,” you reply, smiling. “It’s the least I can do.”

He smiles as he takes a sip and hum appreciatively. “You gotta write me down the recipe because this is too good.”

You grin. “Don’t worry, I’ll send it to you.”

“Kind of takes me back to the days when I was younger. My mother would bring me food to my bed and fuss all over me. Every now and then, I would wish to be sick so that she would…” He finishes with a smile. “I don’t know why I’m saying this.”

“You miss her,” you say.

He nods. “I do.”

“Why don’t you give her a call?”

He looks up at you and smiles weakly. “She...uh, passed away when I was fifteen.”

Your heart drops. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. But, I do want to thank you. I… you didn’t have to all of this. I keep troubling you all the time, but you… you are too kind to me, Y/n. I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you.”

Your heart feels heavy at his words. It suddenly occurs to you that you never noticed how drastically things have changed between you two. The hate you carried in your heart for Mark had dissolved and you don’t know how to feel about that. However, you do understand that this Mark, the Mark who is right in front of you, vulnerable and grateful, is not the one who killed Kun.

He is just Mark.

You realize that both of you have been staring at each other when you hear a knock on the door, snapping you out of your train of thoughts.

You get up and head for the door. Opening it, you find a tall, lanky boy by the door, with bleached blond hair. He seems to be around the age of 15 but what surprises you is the expression he wears on his face.

He seems shocked to see you.

“Yes?” you raise your brows.

“Why are you here?” the boy asks.

You frown. “I’m sorry, I’m Mark’s colleague. Who are you?”

He stares at you for a second before composing himself and bowing to you. ‘I apologize for my rudeness, I’m Jisung, Mark’s brother.”

You smile. “Oh, wow, I didn’t know he had a brother. Come in!”

Jisung enters and freezes momentarily when he sees Mark coming out of his room. Mark halts as well, his eyes darting from you to Jisung repeatedly.

“You look like shit,” Jisung stated.

“Thanks,” Mark mumbled as he leaned against the wall. “What brings you here?”

“Heard from Mom that you’re sick, so I came over to check on you.”

_ Mom? _ You look at Mark confusedly. He glances at you. “My dad remarried.”

_ Oh. _

“Y/n, you don’t have to do anything else for me,” Mark said. ”Jisung is here, he’ll help me with everything else. You should get back to work, you must be getting late.”

You nod. “Okay then, take care. It was nice meeting you Jisung.”

Jisung smiles. “Same here.”

You pick up your bag and open the door to leave.

Just as you are about to close the door, you hear Jisung’s voice saying, “What is  _ she _ doing here, Mark?”


	6. Six

You press your ear against the door and hear their muffled voices from the other side. It is a waste of time, you conclude, as you cannot hear a single word so you reluctantly walk away.

 

On your drive back to work, the gears in your brain start spinning. How did Jisung know you? Judging from the tone of his voice, it was clear he did not want you there but why?

His shocked expression when he met you was quite similar to Mark’s when you two met at the office.

_ What the hell is going on? _

  
  


Mark didn’t come to work the next day. You decide to visit him again and cook something for him this time. 

You head home after work and cook some broth for him. Kun is still at work and you leave a sticky note on the refrigerator saying that you will be home a bit later than usual. Hopping on a taxi, you head for Mark’s place.

 

You knock twice on the door before it opens, revealing a tired Jisung standing on the other side of the door.

He squints at you. “Hi.”

You smile. “Hello. I brought some food for Mark.”

“Sure, come on in.”

“How is he now?” you ask as you walk into the kitchen.

“Still too weak to go to work but somewhat better than yesterday. He’s sleeping right now.”

You nod as you take out the food containers and place them on the kitchen countertop. 

“I didn’t know you would be here so I only cooked enough broth for him,” you say sheepishly.

“No, it’s fine, I’ve been cooking for him since yesterday. This is enough help.”

You lean against the counter and watch him. Jisung’s eyes look bloodshot and puffy with bags underneath. His face looks swollen, indicating he just got up from sleep.

“Sorry for disturbing your sleep,” you apologize. 

He shakes his head and rubs his face with his hands. “No, it’s good. I needed to get up anyway and cook.”

“Are you in high school?”

He nods. “Yeah, senior year.”

You raise your brows. “You must be so busy with school. Is it okay for you to be here?”

He shrugs. “He has no one to rely on.” Then he looks up and a faint smile graces his mouth. “Or so I thought.”

You look away. “I’m just looking out for my junior at work.”

“He’s quite lucky to have you as his senior then.”

You smile, your face warming up. Your heart thumped loudly as the next words leave your mouth. “Did you ever know me?”

Jisung’s back is facing you as he opens the refrigerator. His action pauses briefly at your question but then resumes. “Not really. Why?”

He turns with a milk carton in his hand, his face blank.

“You seemed surprised to see me when we first met,” you say, watching him closely.

“Oh, that. I had you confused with someone else. Also, it felt strange seeing a girl at his place.”

You blush. “Ah, right.” The conversation has taken a weird turn and you don’t know how to recover it.

“Would you like some coffee?” Jisung offered.

“Oh, no. I have to return home, my husband is probably waiting for me. Thank you, though.”

He stares at you. “A husband?”

You nod, giggling nervously. “Yep.”

He blinks and then smiles softly. “Wow, that’s quite nice. Frankly, you look too young to be even Mark’s senior but you’re also married.”

You laugh. “Thanks.”

“What’s his name?”

“Qian Kun.”

He nods. “Sounds Chinese.”

“He is.”

“It’s getting late. You should get going, then.”

“Right, I’ll see you later.”

Waving at him, you leave.

 

Everything about that conversation felt off to you. You can’t fathom what exactly was going on with Mark or Jisung but you are fixated on finding out because you have a strong feeling that it was all connected to Kun’s ‘death’. If Kun can come back alive while you have the memories of the days you spent grieving his death then there was a way Mark remembers too.

 

As you enter your apartment and take off your blazer, you see Kun on the sofa with his head against the wall, sleeping. Your heart swells up with love as you sit next to him, stroking his head. 

He stirs and sighs. “You’re home.”

“You’re tired.”

He moans softly and shifts his position, lifting his legs up on the couch and resting his head on your lap. “Recharging up now,” he mumbles.

You giggle, running your fingers through his soft, jet black, wavy hair.

 

As you watch Kun’s body rise and fall, you recall some painful memories of your days without him. 

 

One time, you had collapsed on this very couch after a long day at work. In those days, you threw yourself at work to keep yourself sane, to avoid thinking about Kun. Your heart would ache and your mind would echo Kun’s name every living second and the only thing keeping you away from the mental rehabilitation center was your work. 

However, that day you instantly woke up. Your nose picked up the faint smell of Kun’s cologne. For a second, you could feel him around you. You teared up, whimpering Kun’s name. You knew you were hallucinating but you couldn’t hold yourself back. You walked to your wardrobe, opened it and took out one of Kun’s shirts. It was a pale pink shirt that made his pale skin and black hair stand out. You felt the cuffs between your fingers, vividly remembering how he rolled it up around his arms, the faint blue veins running under his skin. You bury your face in the shirt, inhaling his scent deeply. 

 

Your eyes snap open. Warm, soft and wet lips are pressed against your neck. Your stomach flutters and you turn to find Kun sitting next to you, leaning down to your neck. Your fingers were intertwined in his and you hold it tightly as he sucks the sensitive skin where your neck met your shoulders.

“How can someone look so cute while sleeping?” he whispered to your ears, his lips brushing against your neck now, sending pleasant tingles through your body.

You look at him and hug him tightly, your arms around his neck and your chest pressed against his.

Kun shifts and lifts you up by your waist, adjusting you in a way such that you were straddling him. You bury your face in the crook of his neck, engraving this very moment in your brain. Kun rubs his hands up and down your waist, thighs, and back. One of his hands stroke your hair while he kisses your neck softly.

“What’s wrong?” he asks gently.

“I missed you,” you whisper as you place soft, sloppy kisses on his neck. 

He stiffens, the pace of his breathing quickened. Feeling more bolder now, you continue to suck on the skin like he did and his grip on your waist tightens.

He says your name softly, his voice dripping with desire. You slowly pull back and look at him. His features were no longer soft or gentle. You gulp as your hand touches his cheekbone softly.

“Were you having a bad dream?” he asks, his eyes fixed on you.

 “Yeah.”

“What did you see?”

You sigh. “I saw that you were no longer in my life and I was missing you a lot. It was hard and painful.”

“But, I’m right here,” he says, tilting his head.

You smile. “Yes, you’re here.”


	7. Seven

You sigh in your sleep as you turn over and squint at the blinding white light kissing your face. The windows are open and Kun is not next to you. You hate finding Kun gone and so, slowly, you sit up and rub your eyes. You check the time on your phone. 8 a.m.

It’s the weekend. Why is Kun up so early for? 

While you rub the sleep off of your eyes, you hear Kun enter the room with clothes in his hand.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” he greets as he stuffs the clothes in a bag. After he is done, he sits down on the bed in front of you, leans towards you and kisses your forehead. “I was just about to wake you up.”

“Where are you going?” You ask groggily.

“Not me,  _ we _ are going. To the beach!”

“What?” the sleep has left your eyes.

He nods, grinning from ear to ear, his dimples in full display. “I’ve been planning to surprise you.”

You smile. “That’s very sweet of you, Kun.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”

You stare at Kun, your love for him is making your heart ache and you utter the next words without care. “I love you.”

His eyes widen before a warm smile spread across his face. “I love you more.”

  
  


You leaned towards the window, feeling the chilly damp air hit your face. You look back at Kun, who was driving the car. “Should we really be going to the beach in this weather?”

“It’ll clear up,” he replied confidently.

 

It did not clear up when the two of you arrived at the hotel near the beach. Dark clouds roll over the sky as you hear a soft rumble from a distance. The waves rush towards the shore and crash against the rocks. Kun is devastated and you know this by observing the gloomy way he placed the bags next to the bed.

“It was just sunny yesterday,” he mutters under his breath.

You stifle back a laugh. “It’s okay, really.”

“No, it’s not.”

A giggle escapes from your lips and you walk towards him, hugging him from behind. 

He sighs and holds your hands.

“I like the rain,” you say softly. “It feels more romantic with the waves crashing.”

He turns and faces you, cupping your face in his hands. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

He smiles before leaning in and capturing your lips in his. It’s a soft and slow kiss and you sigh against him, melting under his touch as his arms wrap around your waist.

“I really wanted to see you in a swimsuit though,” he whispers, mischief twinkling in his eyes. 

You scoff. “Not in a million years.”

He nods. “You’re right. Not in a million years  _ in front of others _ .”

You raise your brows.

“Yep, if you wear it, it will be only for my eyes only,” he states firmly. “I can’t have others seeing how sexy my wife is.”

Suddenly the room feels too hot. You look down, your mind blank. Kun laughs softly and kisses your cheek.

“You’re so adorable,” he whispers to your ear.

This is too much for your heart. The air feels too thick to breathe and you think of ways to escape from this.

“I need to change my clothes,” you say, trying to push away from him. 

His grip on you tightens. “For what?”

‘I-I, uhm,” you stutter.

He grins and then eventually releases you. “You’re spared.”

You scoff. “Someone’s getting cocky.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”

You chuckle.

 

By noon, you and Kun head out to a local diner to get some lunch. Both of you take a table near the balcony that looked out to the sea and the sand.

Kun pulls out a chair for you and you take your seat. Even though it is such a small action, your heart flutters.

Tucking your hair behind your ear, you watch Kun take a seat before you, beckoning a waiter.

 

After placing an order for the food, Kun leans towards you, giving you a boyish smile. “You know, this weather does actually feel romantic.”

“I told you so,” you reply smugly.

He nods and holds your gaze while holding your hand. His thumb circles over your wrist.

“The other day,” he begins, “you were having a bad dream.”

You frown. “How do you know?”

“You were talking in your sleep.”

“Oh… what did I say?”

He sighs. “You kept asking where I went, telling me to come back. You even cried in your sleep.”

You cringe. “Oh god.”

“It’s okay, baby,” he assures, worry covering his face.

“When was this?”

“A few days ago. Actually, you do this sometimes. You cry in your sleep usually but that day you started talking. Look, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be worried and I was waiting for you tell me about it but you never said anything. So I’m gonna ask you and you answer honestly, is everything okay?”

A lump forms in your throat. Sometimes you did have nightmares of Kun leaving you again, where you were back to the same old life without him, but when you wake up, you wouldn’t remember the dream as much vividly and every fear in your heart would subside as soon as you saw Kun.

“I keep seeing dreams where you’re not there,” you admit. “In my nightmares, I’m in a world where you don’t exist. It’s a world that I cannot live in, breathe in, survive in but somehow I do. And every single day, I wake up without you and feel the piercing ache in my chest… when I realize that you’re not there. It’s so hard..”

You tear up between the pauses and your voice breaks. Kun gets up and gets down on his knees next to you to embrace you tightly.

You bury your face in his chest. Oh, how many times you begged for this whenever you buried your face in his shirt, to feel his hard, solid chest, to feel his arms around your body, caging you to him, to feel the warmth seep into your heart and every cold corner in your body.

How many days you’ve gone cold without him to warm you up.

Inhaling deeply, you pull back and kiss Kun’s cheek.

 

The two of you decide to walk by the beach after lunch. With your hand intertwined in his, you walk by side, the shore occasionally rolling up to your feet and submerging them in the foamy water.

You feel a pleasant shiver at the coldness and dampness of it and dig your toes into the wet, velvety sand.

You are lost in your own world with the sand and the sea until you suddenly feel a light drizzle falling down on you.

You look up but then catch Kun’s gaze, realizing he has been watching you the whole time.

This makes you blush furiously. “We should go inside,” you mumble.

Kun turns his gaze up, suddenly aware of his surroundings. “Yeah, let’s go.”

The two of you walk back and halfway run to the hotel to avoid getting drenched in the rain. You thank the heavens for the rain as you step into the hotel’s elevator because thanks to it, Kun looked simply ravishing.

He is wearing a white shirt, that is now wet around the shoulders and clings to his frame, with the first few buttons open and the hem loose with khaki shorts. His hair is now disheveled and damp as he runs a hand through it and exhales.

“Well, that was fun,” he says, slightly annoyed.

“You don’t like the rain?”

“Not really. I don’t like feeling cold.”

The word ‘cold’ triggers an awful memory of you holding Kun’s cold, lifeless body. You shake your head.

“What?” he asks.

You look up and find his face wearing concern for you. Suddenly you find yourself walking to him and wrapping your arms around his waist with your cheek pressed against his chest. You feel his chest rumble as he laughs. “Is this your way of warming me up?”

“Maybe.”

“Hmm. This isn’t enough, though.” 

The elevator doors open with a ding as you look up at him with a scowl. “Excuse me?”

Kun chuckles as he takes your hand and leads you to the room. “I’ll show you how to warm me up.”

Your heart skips a beat at his words. “What?”

He looks at you as he unlocks the door, his eyes darkened with desire. With a seductive smirk, he pulls you into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda dull chapter :( i hope you enjoyed it tho :3  
> feel free to let me know how you feel about the fic so far


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late update. uni is killing me :((( i forgot how much of an introvert I am so the group projects are draining me  
> the next chapter will be more interesting i promise ;-;  
> hope you enjoyed this chapter <3

The cold chill from the window wakes you up, as you shift in your sleep but you open you find a heavy arm over your waist and your back pressed against a warm and very bare chest.

It suddenly occurs to you that you are stark naked, with only the covers above you and under the same cover, Kun soundly sleeps, his body pressed with you, his soft breath blowing against the back of your head.

 

You freeze, as the memories of last night come rushing to your head. You shiver as you recall Kun kissing you until your lips were swollen, his hands all over your body. A blush creeps up to your cheeks as you find yourself thinking about how hot he looked while taking his shirt off and gently pushing you down the bed, hovering over you and kissing down the column of your neck, how you almost your mind when he whispered your name to your ears while he was inside you. 

 

His desire for you still overwhelms you as you remember him growing rougher with you as the minutes passed. 

“I’ve waited too long,” he growled in a low tone to your ear when you had asked him to wait so that you could catch your breath. He then flipped and took you from the back, his pace swift and deep. You feel embarrassed and curl up as you recall how much you moaned and gasped while clutching the bedsheets, how your fingers were knotted in his hair while he kissed and sucked on your neck while his fingers were deep inside your core.

 

You never knew that Kun could be this… bold. You didn’t know how else to word it but that’s how he felt. Wild, frenzied and dominating, he was everything that he was not usually and it makes your heart flutter knowing how you and you alone brought this side of him out. 

 

You gasp as you feel his arm around your waist tightens, pulling you closer to him while his mouth dipped in your neck, kissing.

“Good morning,” his raspy voice greets. The air suddenly feels too thick to breathe in as you wait for who knows what. You just lay there, scared. He pulls your shoulder gently, making you turn around to face him but you keep your eyes down, your face on fire.

 

He chuckles. “What’s wrong?”

 

You pull the covers up to hide your face but he stops you by your wrist. “Why are you blushing so much?” He is enjoying this, you think to yourself.

 

You shake your head as a reply and he kisses your forehead. “You were like this when we first made love, remember?”

 

You don’t know but suddenly you find your brain confirming to Kun’s words as a strange sense of deja vu settles in. It is as if your brain has the memories of the last three years with Kun buried deep inside but the memories of the years without him are more strong and prevalent. You can’t explain how your brain carries these false memories. Were they even false anymore?

 

“Y/n?”

 

You look up at him.

 

“What’s wrong? Was last night bad?”

 

“Oh my god, no. It was really… nice.”

 

He smirks. “Nice, huh?”

 

“What?”

 

“I don’t think you mean that.”

 

“I do!”

 

He shifts closer to you, the tip of his nose touching yours. “So, me eating you out just felt _nice_?”

Your eyes widen. Kun never speaks so boldly in front you, leaving you stuttering. He laughs softly and faces the ceiling. 

 

“I guess it has been too long since we last made love if you’re feeling this shy,” he says playfully.

 

You hesitate before you ask, “How long has it been since we last did it?”

 

“A month at least.”

 

And it has been a bit more than a month since that day you woke up to find Kun suddenly alive.

 

“You said you have waited for too long.”

 

He turns his head to look at you. “I did.”

 

“Why didn’t you say anything then?”

 

He sighed. “You know, I haven’t forgotten that day when you freaked out suddenly.”

 

You remained silent.

 

“You were so scared and thinking I had died or something. I don’t know what made you act like that and I won’t ask you unless you want to tell me about it yourself. But after that day, you were so different. You would jump whenever I touched you, you seem scared around me. You didn’t sleep too well, always saying my name in your sleep. You were scared to lose me for some reason and seeing you so afraid made me afraid as if I was going to actually lose you. So I gave you some space when all I wanted was to just hug and kiss your pain away.” 

 

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear as he says the last part, his eyes sad and worried.

 

“I didn’t know what else to do,” he adds. “I wanted to tell you to talk to Doyoung, but I didn’t want to freak you out.”

 

Doyoung is Kun’s friend who is a therapist with a clinic in the city.

 

You close your eyes, inhaling deeply. You have been causing Kun to worry so much and you 

weren’t even aware of it.

 

“Look, baby, if you still need help, I’ll help you get it. No one has to know if you want. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, okay? There’s nothing to be ashamed about seeking help.”

You shake your head. “No, I’m not… I was having a tough time then. But I’m really fine, right now, I promise. And it’s all because of you. I feel better because of you. I can’t…”

 

You don’t finish your words as you hide your face in his chest. He hugs you, kissing your head. 

 

“I love you so much,” he says softly. “You know that, right?”

 

You feel so happy, loved and safe in his arms that you want to cry. His embrace, his warmth, his bare, defined chest, his chin on your head, your chest against his, your legs over his, your arm around his waist and even the soreness between your legs fills you with reassurance and warmth.

 

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” he whispers.

 

You wish the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


**Author's Note:**

> hii  
> i'm new at this site so i apologize for any future mistakes, i promise to not make this work cringy :) . thank you for reading it, if you enjoyed it, do leave a nice comment or kudos.  
> constructive criticism is welcome here :)


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